FAVORITE MOVIES » The Holiday
"Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend."
to everyone with finals and exams and big projects due very very soon and haven’t started anything yet
I will reblog this everytime without a doubt
The most bare bones of performances
I can’t stop smiling this is actually the most beautiful thing I’ve heard in a long time
Wow I love this wow
"How the Media Failed Women in 2013," courtesy of Miss Representation. This is mind-boggling and you must watch it right now.
DO YOU HAVE COMPANY COMING OVER, BUT YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE SMOKE OR YOUR MOLD EXPERIMENTS OR CAT PISS OR SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT?
WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME BRILLIANT, BECAUSE THIS SHIT ISN’T EDIBLE, BUT IT’LL MAKE YOUR HOUSE SMELL LIKE A GODDAMN CHURCH CHOIR SINGING HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH IN YOUR NASAL PASSAGE! (YOU SHOULD GET RID OF WHATEVER’S STINKING UP YOUR HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE AS WELL, MORON)
RUN YOUR CLASSY ASS OVER TO THE STORE AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PREPARED FOR THE MIND-FUCK OF THIS SHIT. YOU’LL WANT 1 ORANGE, A SMALL BAG OF CRANBERRIES, 3 CINNAMON STICKS, GROUND CLOVES, NUTMEG, 2 LEMONS, ROSEMARY AND VANILLA.
THERE ARE TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THAT YOU CAN COOK, BECAUSE CLASSY-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS NEED VARIETIES IN THEIR LIFE!
THE FIRST IS ‘CHRISTMAS’ AND THE SECOND DOESN’T HAVE A DAMN NAME, BUT IT’S FUCKING WONDERFUL.
ONLY HAVE ONE POT OF THIS SHIT GOING, IT’S CRAZY POWERFUL.
CHOP UP THE ORANGE, SKIN AND ALL, BECAUSE YOU DON’T JOKE AROUND WITH THIS SORT OF SHIT.
USE YOUR WARRIOR STRENGTH TO BREAK THE CINNAMON STICKS IN HALF, LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF SNAPPING THE FEMURS OF DRAGONS BEFORE YOU SUCKED THE MARROW OUT.
THROW THE ORANGE AND CINNAMON STICK PIECES INTO THE POT, OR IF YOU’RE NOT CONFIDENT WITH YOUR AIM, YOU CAN SET THEM GENTLY INSIDE. SHOVE A SMALL SPOONFUL OF NUTMEG AND A SMALL SPOONFUL OF CLOVES INTO THE POT.
THEN FILL THAT FUCKER UP WITH WATER UNTIL THERE’S ONLY AN INCH OF LEEWAY BETWEEN THE WATER AND EDGE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A DAREDEVIL MOTHERFUCKER.
NOW SET YOUR STOVE TO A LOW-MEDIUM SETTING, AND LEAVE IT SITTING THERE TO MARINATE IN IT’S OWN QUIET ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH. DON’T COVER THIS FUCKER, BECAUSE THE SMELL OF IT IS GOING TO INVADE YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN HOUSE.
THAT WHICH WILL NOT BE NAMED
THE OTHER VERSION OF BOILING POTPOURRI ONLY HAS LEMONS, ROSEMARY SPRIGS AND VANILLA.
RIP THE LEMON INTO CHUNKS WHILE SOLVING THREE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES IN YOUR HEAD AND YELLING AT YOUR FLATMATE TO LEAVE YOUR OTHER EXPERIMENTS ALONE, THEN BE A CHAMPION BY NOT USING A MEASURING TOOL WHEN SPLASHING 1 TABLESPOON OF VANILLA INTO THE POT.
TOSS IN THE ROSEMARY SPRIGS AFTER YOU’VE STARED THEM INTO SUBMISSION.
FILL THAT SUCKER WITH WATER AND PUT IT ON THE HEAT.
YOU LEAVE IT ON FOR 2 HOURS AT THE START OF THE DAY, THEN TURN IT ON AGAIN AN HOUR BEFORE GUESTS GET TO YOUR HOME AND LEAVE IT ON ALL EVENING.
TAKE A WHIFF UP CLOSE EVERY FEW HOURS, BECAUSE THE FRUIT WILL START TO SMELL WEIRD AT THE END OF THE DAY AND THAT’S WHEN YOU TURN IT OFF.
WHEN YOUR GUESTS ARRIVE THEY’LL HAVE TO STEP BACK AND EXCLAIM “HOLY MOTHERFUCKING TITS, THIS IS ONE CLASSY HOME”
Not gonna lie, I’m mostly reblogging this because reading it is so thoroughly enjoyable.
THIS IS DANIEL SANTOS CASTRO HE IS A 21 YEAR OLD SEXUAL PREDATOR IN ATLANTA GA. HE PRAYS ON YOUNG TEENAGE GIRLS AT CONVENTIONS. HE RAPED ME(circumscribed-calories) AND THE CHARGES AND CASE WAS DROPPED BECAUSE HE WAS CLEAN. PLEASE REBLOG, ATLANTA IS THE CITY IN AMERICA WITH THE MOST TUMBLR USERS. HE GOES TO GEORGIA PERIMETER COLLEGE AND USED TO LIVE IN CUMMING GEORGIA. PLEASE REBLOG SO HE CANT HURT ANYONE ELSE PLEASE REBLOG
I DONT WANT HIM TO HURT ANYONE ELSE.
What this shit this is WAY to close to home, look out for this guy atlstuck peeps.
so cute i might die
Ellen & Portia
ACTUAL CUTEST COUPLE
i like this but i don’t fully understand it…
you don’t understand how sad this is. each adult is a cross, and each child has been crucified by said cross.
- the priest (i assume he’s a priest, correct me if i’m wrong) killed the little boy in one way or another, probably rape, which is common among corrupted clergy men.
- the tourist comes to an overcrowded, poverty stricken country, taking up any and all resources that could have gone to the little native girl
- the soldier comes to fight for his country, but ends up killing the innocent girl, probably in her village.
- the little boy dies under the doctor’s knife
- the man kills the little girl in a school shooting (represented with the uniform)
- the “fat” kid is killed by obesity caused by a fast food epidemic in america, most commonly mcdonald’s, shown by ronald mcdonald himself.
this is /haunting/ to look at. children can die at anyone’s hand. even the “heros”
nigga that toursist ain’t no hero and ronald mcdonald is practically a second rate pennywise.
"how will i explain gay couples to my children”
if you can explain to your children that an immortal man in a red suit who lives in the north pole travels around the entire world on one night every year on a sleigh carried by magical flying deer i think itll be easy enough to tell them two people are in love
college should be $25
"Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old."
how do girls know that they’re off of their periods? do their vaginas like ding or something?
an elf pops out and throws confetti at us and yells “YOU’RE FREE! See you next month”
so you give birth to an elf every month?
and that, kids, is how Santa gets his elves
and why one of Christmas’ colors is red.
HOLY SHIT…this website is on drugs